


Six Feet Under A Blood Moon

by Jxshler_trxsh



Category: All Time Low
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Fluff At Some Points, M/M, Murder, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Top Josh, Tyler Is A Smart Bean, Tyler doesn't take any shit, jack and alex are just a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-13 00:49:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5688190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jxshler_trxsh/pseuds/Jxshler_trxsh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack is dependent on Alex for almost everything. Alex is his life. Jack is all that Alex can see, and all that Alex can remember. Everything seems great, until it's not, and then bad things happen. Very bad things.</p><p>AKA I suck at writing summaries</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is kinda dark?? Like, idk. I don't know how hardcore you would consider it but please just be careful while you're reading this

Jack and Alex were the ultimate team.

When they worked together, they could take down anybody without ever being suspected. You see, Jack and Alex were killers. They weren't after some prize, and they weren't trying to send a message to society.

**They did it for fun.**

Jack was the bait. He lured people in with the promise of sex, boys and girls alike. He was already promiscuous enough on his own time so why not use his seduction skills to help his lover?  They usually didn't make it far enough to see their promises fulfilled however, seeing as Jack usually only had to make out with the person before Alex took over (AKA got jealous enough to contemplate strangling the victim with his bare hands. But he wouldn't do that. He's not  _clumsy._ )

 ******************

Alex was the killer. He came in after Jack had lured the person back to their house, where everything took place. Jack had already drugged the person so that they wouldn't be able to fight back, mostly because Alex wouldn't be able to fight someone off at their full strength . Sometimes Alex would tell Jack to only drug the person enough to make them sluggish, so that they could still talk and protest. Alex found it hot when someone resisted him. It gave him control, and he just liked knowing that he could exert his will over someone.

He usually took his time with the killing, mostly to make sure that he didn't make any mistakes that could get them caught. Jack usually wasn't present during this time. He was too sensitive to handle all of it. The one time Alex had let him watch he almost blew the whole thing because Alex had to stop and comfort him. He wanted to kill with Alex, but he wasn't fully invested in it like Alex was. So he stayed out of it, and just helped Alex after it was over.

Once he got finished with this, the person was usually close to death. Alex saw this and called Jack into the room. He liked to show Jack how fragile people could be, how he could make even the burliest man cry and beg for mercy. Jack interestingly found this kind of sexy on Alex's part, but mostly because he liked seeing the older man in control, and he wanted that. Not to be murdered, just to be ordered around by Alex in every way. Jack fucking loved that.

This usually led to some hot sex before Jack and Alex disposed of the body. They were always very careful about this, getting rid of it at night and making it look as though it was some random hacking.  They never dumped the bodies in the same place, and Alex was careful to never have a trend in the way he slashed the body. The police weren't smart enough to have the bodies tested for poison, always using the most evident injuries as the cause of death.

After the dumping, Alex and Jack usually had a sort of romantic time that they spent together. Alex would find a nice, quiet place away from where they had committed the deed, and he would sit with Jack, watching the stars. He would also coddle the boy and shower him with affection, kissing his face and smoothing his hair, all the while reassuring Jack of what a great job he did in orchestrating his part of the murder.

Jack needed that, because although he was an accessory to murder, he was still a tiny, pure child in Alex's eyes. (Nevermind the fact that Jack was eighteen.) Alex was determined to keep that light of hope in his boy, to not let him descend into an almost sort of madness like he had. Because that was why they worked. Alex was dark, and demanding, and controlling, while Jack was his light, willing to do anything that Alex asked of him.

And that was why they'd always be together. Because Alex wasn't willing to let go of something as perfect and wonderful as Jack, and Jack didn't have the desire to leave him.

**They were the perfect match. Together forever, till death do they part.**

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh geex this one's short man

After about five months of this, killing these random people that really only wanted Jack's body., Alex wanted something more. He expressed this to Jack one day while they were cuddling on the bed after an especially satisfying kill.

"Jack?" Alex called, shaking the boy that had fallen asleep on his body.

"Hmm?" Jack mumbled sleepily. Alex didn't usually wake up Jack _unless_ it was important. . . or he wanted sex. "Alex I'm not in the mood now, go watch porn or something." He mumbled as he turned onto his side, away from Alex.

Alex reached over and pulled the boy's body back to his, as he stated, "No it's not that, Its important. _Very_ important. In fact, you could say it's a _life or death_ _matter_."

Jack immediately shot up from his lying position on the bed. " Alex, no, we literally _just_ got done killing someone." He said as he gazed at the bloodthirsty boy next to him.

"Jack, I'm not talking about killing, well, actually I am, just hear me out," Alex begged. "I'm listening," Jack said in a tone that suggested he really didn't want to listen.

"You know how we've only been killing. . . lowly people right?" "Yes." Jack sighed as Alex continued on."Well.. I was thinking.. " "Don't hurt yourself," Jack cut in as Alex shot him a glare. "Don't be a smartass, Jack. Anyway I was thinking.. I  wanna kill someone who's pure, innocent, hasn't done anything wrong."

Jack's eyes widened as he slowly sat up again. He looked Alex in the eyes and spoke clearly, "No." "But Jack, think about it, it holds an untapped pleasure that we haven't even discovered yet." Alex said excitedly as Jack shook his head and let out a chuckle.

"You really want to get the worst punishment in hell, don't you?" Jack asked as he shook his head again. "Alex. . .I'm not gonna.. I'm not gonna kill a kid with you. That's just going too far. What we're doing is fucked up enough as it is, I'm not-"  Jack stopped shaking his head as he dragged his hand through his hair. "Fuck, I'm just not going to do that."

"Oh come on Jack, it's only gonna be a 16 or 17 year old. It happens all the time. It's not that big of a fucking deal."  Alex frowned, and Jack let out a scoff as he stepped towards Alex. They had somehow ended up standing on opposite sides of the room facing each other during this, probably initiated by Jack. He knew firsthand that you didn't want to be even remotely close to Alex when he was pissed off.

"Alex, you're not thinking. What do 16 and 17 year olds have?" Alex stayed silent and shot Jack a stony glare as he answered his own question. "Parents. And what do parents do? Get worried. And who do they call when they get worried? The police."

Alex finally broke his silence to counter Jack. "Jack, the police won't give a shit! They'll search for _one day_ and then drop it because they're lazy bastards!" he yelled.

"Whatever Alex, I'm not doing this with you," Jack said as he sat on the bed and turned on the tv. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Alex shrugging on his jacket. "Fuck you." That was the last thing Jack heard before the front door slammed.

Jack hated fighting with Alex but he wasn't going to do that, he would never hurt an innocent person. He loved Alex, but not enough to do that. Not enough to go  _that_ far. 

He tried to push all thoughts of the boy out of his mind, deciding to just watch The Simpsons marathon until he drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohh man. I'll really try my hardest to make these chapters longer

Jack was worried. No, he wasn't worried, he was just anxious. Really anxious. Alex hadn't been home in 4 days. At first, Jack had just assumed that Alex was mad at him and decided not to come home. It had happened before, numerous times really, so Jack just shrugged it off and went about his business. He attended work normally, and he even went out to get drinks with his friends one night.

When Alex  hadn't come home on the third and fourth days, Jack had assumed that he had went on a trip to clear his mind. Alex tended to do that when he had a really heavy issue bothering him. This had also happened numerous times, although this was the longest Alex had really ever stayed away from him.

It had been in the middle of the night on the seventh day that Jack had heard the front door creak open. He got out of bed, curious to see what it was. He was pretty sure it was Alex, but he wanted to be safe.  They had never actually been robbed before, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a possibility.

Jack creeped down the stairs, thankful that he had light feet and they weren’t really creaky.

As he walked into the foyer, he could see that the door had been left wide open, soaking the area in front of it as the rain fell.

Lightning was flashing through the windows, illuminating the whole area as Jack padded through on his way to go close the door. He finally reached it, and as he closed it, he heard thunder. Jack jumped a little, but soon regained his composure.

He didn’t really like thunder, and he usually spent nights like this cuddled in bed with Alex, but he could totally manage by himself. He was a big boy.

Jack turned and began to retreat to upstairs as another shock of lightning lit up the foyer. In that moment, he could’ve sworn that he saw Alex standing in front of him, but there had been no sign of him coming in the house.  Except for the open door. Jack rolled his eyes at himself as he ruffled his own hair.

He was really stupid sometimes. The door had obviously been open because Alex came home, and here he was acting stupid because he thought he was seeing things. Jack abandoned his mission of going back upstairs, opting to meander around where he was, jumping slightly every time there was a crack of thunder.

“Alex?” Jack called, walking back towards the door, where he had started. “Alex, baby, it’s cold and you’re probably soaked through, just come here and let me warm you up. Please?”

As Jack moved forward, another flash illuminated the foyer and this time Jack was _sure_ that he saw Alex. Jack's hand fumbled for the end table and pulled the cord on the lamp to turn it on. “Alex, I don’t know why you think sneaking around in the dark is fun- Oh, shit.” Jack stopped once his eyes adjusted to the light and he finally got a good look at what was standing in front of him..

Alex was standing in front of Jack, drenched and covered in blood. He had a crazy look in his eyes, and his hair was plastered to his forehead. Jack was scared for a minute, sure that the blood on Alex was his own. When he realized he was right, he covered his mouth with his hand.

Jack was sure he wouldn't find the words to speak, until he sputtered out, "Alex, w-what happened?"

The boy let out a wrecked sob and crumbled to his knees, Jack quickly rushing over and pulling him into his chest, surrounding the boy in his warmth. “Alex, what did you do?” “I-I didn’t do anything!” “I’m sure you did something.”

Alex just sobbed again, shaking his head. “H-he tried to kill _me_ , Jack. I’m a horrible person. A-all those p-people. _Why?_ Why would you let me do something like that?” Jack could feel himself becoming defensive, his blood beginning to boil. “Now you listen to me and you listen well, Alexander William. Anything that you chose to do in your life you chose to do on your own accord and you _will not_ sit here and try to fucking blame me for it.”

“But I _remember_ things, Jack! I didn’t used to be like this! I didn’t used to-"

“Shut the hell up.” Jack let go of him, standing up and drawing himself up to his full height. He felt the control of this relationship seeping back into him, he was the one who was responsible now, especially since Alex was starting to remember things. What a fucking bother.

“You’re going to sit up and get yourself together. I’m going to go get you a drink. And when I come back I want you to be fucking silent, because you’re going to listen to what _I_  have to say for once. Understand?”

Nobody had ever shut Alex down like that before. He forced himself to nod, swallowing harshly as Jack’s footsteps faded into the kitchen.

Things were changing, and Alex didn't know what that meant for him, but it couldn't be good.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this really quickly because I was bored so enjoy

Jack walked into the kitchen, sighing as he got a glass out of the cupboard. He could hear Alex moving around in the foyer, most likely trying to patch up his wounds before Jack came back.

 

Said man named Jack went and opened the fridge, deciding that water was the best option for Alex right now, and pouring some into the glass, along with some of this cool stuff Jack had found that would make the boy a bit calmer. When he ventured back out into the foyer, Alex was sitting on the couch, white bandage strips around his middle, and shivering slightly.

 

Jack went and sat next to him, wrapping a blanket around the boy’s shoulders before handing him the cup. “Drink that.” He ordered, watching as Alex did so with shaky hands. “Now, are you ready to listen, Alex?”

 

The boy nodded, prompting Jack to smile at him and ruffle his hair. The thing was, Jack’s smile was a little bit too saccharine, and it made Alex uneasy, although he gave a small smile back. 

 

“Now, Alex. What did I say when we first started this?” 

 

Alex looked down at his lap as he thought. Jack had said a lot of things, and he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to remember. “I.. I don’t kn-” 

 

“Mm mm, that’s not what I want to hear.” Jack placed a finger over the boy’s lips, shaking his head. “I want you to tell me  _ exactly  _ what I said, since you can remember things now. Remember that.”

 

Alex huffed slightly, tightening his grip on the glass in his hands. “Being rude to me isn’t going to make me remember.” Jack sighed at this, running a hand through his hair. He placed a hand on Alex’s knee a few moments later, smiling at him reassuringly. “It’s okay, babe. I’ll remind you of what I said.”

 

“I strictly recall that I told you  _ not  _ to fuck things up.” Jack’s voice took on an angry tone, and he withdrew his hand. “And what did you do?” “Nothing!”

 

Alex wasn’t expecting Jack to backhand him, and he dropped the cup onto the carpet, spilling water everywhere. “You most definitely fucked things up for us this time, Alexander. Now someone out there knows your face, and knows that you tried to kill them.  _ Fuck. _ ” Jack stood up, and was now pacing around the room, his arms crossed as he thought. 

 

Alex was resisting the urge to cry, because Jack hitting him had really hurt, and he’d never seen the man this angry before. At least.. he didn’t think he did. He held his cheek as he watched Jack, sniffing occasionally. Maybe Jack would end his spiel early and Alex could find some place quiet to cry. Maybe, he could- Alex’s thoughts were interrupted by Jack squeezing his cheeks together with one hand, pulling at his face and forcing him to look up into those angry brown eyes. 

 

“I gave you control, Alex. You fucking told me you could handle it. And I’ll give it to you, I actually thought that maybe I could take a break for once, maybe you had it under control. But you just fucked it up and proved yourself to be a weakling yet again.” What Jack was about to say next probably hurt Alex more than that slap had. 

 

“God, Alex. I can almost see why your fucking boyfriend used to beat on you all the time. You’re fucking pathetic.” 

 

Alex squeezed his eyes shut when Jack let go of his face, balling his hands into fists by his sides. He tried taking deep breaths, but it wasn’t working. He was actually really pissed now. He opened his eyes, looking directly into Jack’s and meeting his stony glare.

 

“That’s not fair and you know it.” Alex found himself speaking, and his voice was cracking or shaking. He was as confident as could be. “You told me I didn’t deserve that. You said that I could do better. You said that I could do better with you. And I trusted you. Because I knew you my whole fucking life. And then you killed my parents. And yours. I still loved you. And now you’re  _ belittling  _ me? Fuck you.” 

 

Alex stood up, his voice raising and increasing to a yell as he leaned forward and got in Jack’s face. “If I’m pathetic, then so be it! It’s worse than being a fucking piece of shit like you. I hate you! You made me this way, this is all your fault!”

 

Jack’s face held a look of amusement, and he let Alex finish before he laughed in his face. All he did was laugh. And that made Alex furious enough to try to hit him. That was a big mistake.

 

Jack caught the boy’s wrist mid swing and twisted it, making Alex gasp and crumble in on himself as he felt the bone snapping. But Jack was on him, moving in on his space and holding him still as he crouched next to Alex. “You really are fucking stupid.”

 

“Did you forget that I’m stronger than you? But that’s what I like to see. You know, if you persevere, maybe one day you’ll be able to beat me.” Jack flashed another one of his award winning smiles. “But for now, that water I gave you is going to help you sleep, and we’ll talk in the morning when you’re nice and refreshed.”

 

And Alex was to tired to do anything but watch in pain as Jack’s figure grew black around the edges, and his eyes closed, the shock of his injury and whatever Jack had drugged him with making quick work with his consciousness.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a bit of writer's block so sorry if this sucks, but this is dedicated to my friend Erin because she's sick and I wanted to give her some quality entertainment.

Alex was confused when he woke up. He was laying on a bed, he was sure of that much, but since when had the bedroom walls been blue?

 

Alex stood up, rubbing his eyes as he left the room and tried to figure out what was going on. Everything was different. The layout of the living room, the kitchen, even the bathroom. Alex found himself wanting to cry, sniffing as he went back into the bedroom and called for his beau. “Jack?”

 

He waited for a moment before calling for him again. “Jack?!” 

 

Jack walked in a few moments later, smiling at Alex. “Hey, baby. How’d you sleep?” Alex rubbed his eyes again before answering. “F-fine.. but I’m really confused. Jack, what’s going o-” Jack pressed their lips together, kissing Alex softly. He stroked Alex’s cheek when he pulled away.

 

“Shh, it’s okay. You slept for a long time, that’s all.” “How long?” “Two days.” “I don’t remember, Jack.”

 

The man grinned internally, stroking Alex’s cheek with his thumb again. “That’s okay. Everything’s gonna be okay, alright? I’ve always taken care of you. We moved, is all. So that’s why things are different.”

 

Alex nodded, wrapping his arms around Jack’s waist and pressing his face into Jack’s stomach. “Let’s go get some food, babe.” Jack pulled Alex’s arms off of him, pulling him up and leading him down to the kitchen. 

 

“Do you want some pancakes?” “Yes.” Alex nodded again, giggling quietly when Jack picked him up by the waist and set him on the counter. 

 

Jack left him there, proceeding to make the pancakes. He would stop every so often and give little gestures of affection to Alex, whether it was kissing his cheek or briefly tickling his tummy. “I love you.” Jack would often remind him, before handing him a plate once their food was done. “I made your favorite, blueberry.”

 

The boy on the counter leaned up to kiss Jack’s cheek, humming happily before beginning to eat. He was vaguely aware of Jack saying something about work and having to leave soon before he felt Jack’s lips where his hair and forehead met, and the warm body in front of him was gone. Alex heard the front door close gently, and a car drive off.

 

Alex guessed that he was alone for the day.

 

He finished eating, (quite quickly, because sleeping through a few days will do that to you) and slid off of the counter. He decided to leave his dirty dishes in the sink for now, he’d come back and wash them later. Alex also decided that he should get to know his new neighborhood better, so he went back to bedroom (yeah he got lost a few times, so what? The house was new.) and put on some actual clothes, slipping his phone in his back pocket before leaving the house. 

 

He walked down the sidewalk, humming as he took in his surroundings. His new neighborhood was pretty nice, and it was essentially a suburb. There were gardens in some of the yards he passed, and there was even a cute little park down the street from the house that he and Jack shared. Alex may have lost some of his memories, but seeing the park reignited that tiny fire in the back of his mind that he really wanted kids, he’d always had.

 

The boy realized that he still didn’t know where he was, so he pulled out his phone, looking at his weather app. It was kind of weird, because somehow his location settings had gotten turned off. Alex tried to turn them back on, and he ended up sitting on a park bench after five minutes, huffing and giving up when he couldn’t figure out how to turn them on. 

 

_ ‘I never could figure out how to work this damn thing.’  _  Alex scowled as he shoved his phone back into his pocket. Suddenly, somebody was sitting next to Alex, and he resisted the urge to scoot away from that somebody. He didn’t feel really social right now, but he also didn’t want to be rude. So he stayed.

 

“Hey there.” The person next to him spoke and Alex looked up at them, nodding slightly. He realized that the they was a  _ him,  _ and a very attractive him with deep brown hair and perfect features, at that. “My name’s Josh. What’s yours?”

 

Alex tripped over his words before he even began speaking. “U-uhm, my name’s Alex.” Alex smiled slightly, shaking Josh’s hand when he offered it. “I just moved here, I live in the house down there.” Alex pointed in the direction of his house, making Josh laugh.

 

“There’s a lot of houses down there, so I don’t know which one’s yours. But I live down there too. With my husband, Tyler. Did you move here by yourself, or did you come with someone?” Josh asked, tilting his head slightly as he waited for the boy’s answer.

 

“I came here with my..” What exactly was Jack to him? Were they married? Or boyfriends? Or even just friends? “I came here with someone else. His name is Jack.” Alex decided that it was better to be safe than be sorry. “He’s at work right now though, so I decided to come out on my own.”

 

“That’s cool.” Josh smiled at Alex, making the boy’s heart flutter a bit. But Josh was married, he had no business even  _ thinking  _ of him like that. And he didn’t know where his relationship with Jack stood, which was no bueno. Alex was taken out of his momentary trance when Josh’s phone chimed, and he checked it, letting out some air through his teeth as he stood up.

 

“It was good to meet you, Alex, but I’ve gotta go now. Maybe next time I can bring Tyler and you can bring Jack and we can all meet eachother. Sound good?”

Alex could barely contain his grin as he nodded. “Yeah. Sounds great.”

 

“Cool. Bye, Alex.” Josh gave a little wave before jogging down the sidewalk in the direction of his house.

 

Alex stayed on the bench for a little while longer before deciding to head home as well. He sighed as he let himself in, going into the living room and flopping on the couch. He fell asleep almost instantly, mostly because he was exhausted from all the adventures of the day.

  
And his dreams were full of a certain brown-haired man, and Alex’s own lover, Jack.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't sleep and I had some inspiration so here's something to tide you guys over before I pass out

Jack came home around six-thirty that night, smiling fondly when he came through the front door and spotted Alex sleeping on the couch, the local news softly droning on. He walked over and sat next to the boy, careful not to accidentally crush any of his limbs (again), or jostle him in any way. He gingerly held Alex’s wrist, turning and inspecting it. It seemed to have healed nicely, which means that Jack must’ve learned something all those nights he had to listen about his mother’s hectic hours in the E.R. Of course, he never had any choice  _ but  _ to listen.  _ ‘All the selfish bitch could ever talk about was herself.’   _ Jack thought, scoffing quietly as he pushed Alex’s hair back from his forehead.

 

The nineteen year old made a soft noise, shifting around a bit before opening his eyes. He smiled softly when he saw Jack, reaching a hand up to rub his eye. “Mm.. hi.” He greeted him sleepily.

 

“Hey, baby.” Jack smiled at him again, fingers carding through Alex’s hair. “How was your day today?” He asked, and for the first time in a long time, he was genuinely interested in Alex’s answer.

 

“It was okay..” Alex bit his lip for a moment, rolling it between his teeth as he decided to go on. “I met someone new today!” Alex’s face lit up when he mentioned it, a happy gleam overtaking his brown eyes as he continued. “His name is Josh, and he lives somewhere around here too, and he has a husband named Tyler, but I haven’t met him yet. Josh wants to meet you though. He wants us all to meet each other.”

 

Jack frowned slightly as he was relayed this information. Alex wasn’t supposed to go out, especially not without him. It was too risky, and Alex just out in the world being Alex could sink their whole ship in less than five minutes. And Jack has not done everything that he’s done in this life just to have it all taken away. But he decided to force a smile, and nod. He’d prefer if Alex was happy for a little while before Jack made the the boy hate him. “That’s really good, Lexy. I’m glad you made a friend. But, don’t go too far without me around okay?”

 

Alex’s face fell, and he huffed quietly. “I’d need to know where I am first before I go anywhere. Where  _ are  _ we, Jack? And what are you and I? I’m so confused..”

 

The elder hushed him, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead. “It doesn’t matter where we are, okay? As long as you’re with me that’s all that matters, I promise. And you’re my fiance, you just, you lost your ring one day while you were doing the dishes.” And while that wasn’t entirely true, Jack was content to have Alex believe that, because he had every intention of proposing to the boy, but Jack had just never gotten around to it.

 

“I wanna know where we are! I  _ need  _  to know! I can’t handle not knowing, it makes me feel trapped, like some kind of caged animal!” 

 

Jack took a deep breath to try and stifle his anger, withdrawing his hand from Alex’s hair and using it to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Alex. I’m not going to tell you, and you’re not going to figure it out, so just give it up. You love me, don’t you?”

 

“Yes, but-”

 

“So drop it.” Jack sighed. “I need you to just drop it for right now. It’s not important, and I don’t care where we are, so you shouldn’t.”

 

“But you obviously do, or else you wouldn’t-” 

 

“Alex! What the  _ fuck  _ did I just say to you?!” Jack could feel his anger reaching a boiling point, and he could tell it wasn’t going to go away any time soon. He just wished Alex would shut up, because the more he talked, the worse it was probably going to end for him. “Please, baby.  _ Please,  _ just be quiet. I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

Alex, on the other hand, was getting frustrated at his failure to get a straight  answer out of Jack. “This is bullshit.” He huffed as he scrambled over Jack to stand up, beginning to walk away. “I don’t understand why you can’t just tell me! I hate that. I’m a big boy, I can handle it!” He had stopped to say that, before balling his hands by his sides and beginning to walk again.

 

Jack scowled at Alex’s back, fuming now. He couldn’t even remember what he was angry about at that point, he was just fucking mad. 

 

So he picked up that semi-expensive vase that was sitting on their coffee table, and chucked at the back of Alex’s head. He relished the noise that came from Alex when it hit him, loved how he could hear the vase shatter, grinning as he watched the boy fall to the ground.

 

Jack got up, casually walking over to him. Alex had fallen on his face, and Jack flipped him over, looking into his teary eyes with almost no empathy. He straddled the boy’s waist, hands on either side of his head as he leaned down over him. “You don’t seem to understand how easy it is for me to hurt you.” Jack spoke, winding one of his hands around the pale skin on Alex’s neck, blocking out the boy’s pleas as he squeezed gently. “And I never want to. I  _ love  _ you. But you always have to test me.” Jack tightened his grip, his other hand also wrapping around Alex’s neck. “Why can’t you just be a good boy for me, huh? A nice, quiet,  _ fucking obedient  _ boy?”

 

Jack began to throttle Alex, watching him sputter and claw at his hands as Jack slammed his head against the floor. “Why. Can’t. You. Fucking. Listen?!” Each word was punctuated by the thudding sound Alex’s head made when it hit the floor. 

 

Jack continued this until Alex was unconscious, finally letting go of his neck. He studied the bruises his fingers had left there, the purple fingermarks marring his boy’s otherwise perfect skin. Jack had the compulsion to sob, but he forced himself to take a deep breath and get it together.  _ ‘It’s okay, it’s not my fault.’  _  He thought as he ran a hand through his own hair.  _ ‘He wouldn’t drop it. He pushed me to do it. He brought it on himself. He knows how I am. It’s not my fault.  _ None  _ of this is my fault.’  _

 

Jack stood up, leaning down and scooping Alex into his arms. He carried his younger counterpart upstairs, pushing open the door to their bedroom with his foot before venturing in there and setting Alex on the bed. He changed Alex’s clothes, and tucked the boy into bed before crawling in next to him and hugging his body close. Jack just sat there, smelling Alex’s hair for a while as he waited for sleep to come. It smelled like green apples. That was nice. At least Alex was doing  _  something  _ right for him.

  
“I just want you to be a good boy for me.” Jack kissed the top of Alex’s head before he finally went to sleep, with practically no remorse for what he had done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked it! Leave kudos and comments and stuff if you want because I like interacting with you guys! Tyler may be introduced in the next chapter?? Maybe???? I'm not sure yet but, look forward to meeting him soon.


	7. Chapter 7

Jack was awakened when Alex began stirring next to him in the morning. He began to unwrap his arms from around Alex, before deciding to keep them there, making Alex feel snuggled and secured against his chest. Alex groaned quietly, making Jack hum as he looked down at him. “Hm? What’s wrong?”

 

“My head hurts like a bitch.” Alex scowled, huffing quietly and beginning to try to wiggle out of his grasp. “And you can stop cuddling me like it wasn’t your fault. I hate you.” Jack couldn’t really find it in himself to care about Alex’s last statement. He knew that the boy was speaking half-heartedly. He didn’t mean it. Alex loved Jack almost as much as the man loved him.

 

“Okay, first of all, language. Secondly, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have hurt you like I did. But at the same time, I asked you nicely to let go of the subject repeatedly and you still continued to pursue it. So this is really your fault.” 

 

“That doesn’t give you an excuse to hit me!” Alex sputtered indignantly, slamming a fist into Jack’s chest. It didn’t hurt the man much, mostly because he had been through way worse. 

 

“Okay, okay. You’re right. I’m sorry, babe. How about.. how about we have a party, yeah? You can invite your friend and his husband and we can all get to know each other. Does that sound nice?”

 

Alex pursed his lips as he thought, trying not to show Jack just how happy he was about the idea as he nodded. But Jack could tell he was excited, and he had trouble holding back his grin. He loved seeing his boy happy, it made him feel like the best guy in the world. “Lexy, we can have our party today if  you flash me that pretty smile of yours.” The boy pressed his lips together, shaking his head. But soon enough, he was shrieking with laughter as Jack’s hands traveled up and down his sides, the older man laughing as well. Jack gave Alex a break when he got up to go take a shower, pressing a kiss to his forehead before going into the bathroom, the door closing behind him.

 

Alex took this time to text Josh, hoping that he didn’t fuck up the number when he put it in his phone the day before.  _ ‘Hey. Jack said he’d like to have a little party where we could all get to know each other. Today, if that’s okay??? If it’s not we can totally reschedule and yeah.’  _ Alex sighed at how dopey the text sounded before sending it, and waiting for a reply.

 

His answer came as Jack stepped out of the bathroom ten minutes later, and Alex was hardly able to contain his excitement.  _ ‘Yeah!! Today would be awesome, actually. Tyler and I have the day off, so that’s good. And I’m pretty sure that he’s up for it, his hormones aren’t bothering him that much today.’  _  Alex scrunched up his nose at the last part. Hormones? He’d have to ask Josh about that later. He put his phone aside, grinning as he sat up and got off of the bed. “They’re coming!”

 

Jack smiled at Alex in the mirror as he fixed his hair, making sure that the blond patch was visible in his quiff. “That’s great, Lex! You go get ready while I start setting stuff up, okay?” “Okay!” Alex squealed excitedly as he raced into the bathroom, leaving the door open. Jack rolled his eyes fondly, finishing up his hair before going downstairs to begin preparations.

 

After an hour, Alex and Jack were greeting their two neighbors, letting them in the house and exchanging names. Alex noticed that Josh was fussing over Tyler, making sure he was okay every two seconds and just being sweet overall. 

 

Alex liked that. He thought it was nice. He’d never really that in his life. Jack was like that  _ sometimes,  _ but only when he wasn’t tearing the boy down or choking him out. So he sat next to Jack on the loveseat, watching them on the couch. He didn’t realize he had voiced how cute he thought it was until Josh chuckled. 

 

“I’m glad you think it’s sweet, Alex, but I’m not doing anything special. I just want to make this as easy on Tyler as possible and make sure that he’s healthy.” Alex was still very confused about what was going on here, and he decided that it would probably be better to just ask them what was happening instead of just assuming something.

 

“U-uhm.. is something wrong with you?” Alex asked timidly, looking at Tyler. “Alex, that sounds kind of rude.” Jack admonished him, nudging his arm.

 

“It’s fine, really.” Tyler smiled, holding Josh’s left hand in his right as his other hand traveled up to run across his stomach. He wasn’t really offended, considering that Alex didn’t know, and at least he had asked instead of trying to avoid the topic. “I’m pregnant, is all. Josh has the first time jitters and it’s not even that bad.”

 

Oh. So Tyler was pregnant.  _ ‘That explains it all.’  _  Alex thought as he nodded, smiling at the happy couple across from them. He was a little jealous of Tyler in this moment. He had an attractive husband, a nice house, and they were about to start a family. They were  _ happy. _ Not that Alex wasn’t happy with Jack, he just, he just wanted to be happy  _ all  _ the time.

 

“Do you know the sex?” Jack chimed in from beside Alex, bringing the boy’s mind back to the present conversation.  “It’s a girl.” Tyler sighed happily, rubbing his stomach. “I know I’m not showing a lot yet but the doctor said it’s a indefinitely a girl, I promise.” Josh laughed at Tyler’s statement, and Alex saw him squeeze his husband’s hand, also effectively squeezing Alex’s heart at the same time.

 

“Tyler wants to name her Aria. But I like the name Melody.” Josh grinned. “Why not call her Aria Melody?” Alex suggested, shrugging.

 

“That’s what Josh said, but I feel like that’s almost  _ too  _ musical. Don’t you agree, Jack?” Tyler looked to the man, and he nodded. “Yeah, I agree with Tyler. That does seem like a bit much.”

“It was just an idea.” Josh grumbled good-naturedly, making Alex laugh.

 

They all chatted and got to know each other for the rest of the day, and Josh and Tyler eventually left once it was fairly dark outside.

 

Alex curled in bed with Jack after another shower, humming quietly as Jack rubbed his side and kissed behind his ear. “Do you want kids, Alex?” He asked quietly, smoothing a piece of the boys hair over his forehead.

 

Alex wasn’t sure if Jack had been able to hear him crying in the shower, and that was the main source of it. He wanted to be a mommy, and be responsible for another person. But they weren’t ready. Jack and Alex might never be ready.

 

So all he did was force himself to nod, squeezing his eyes shut and willing away his tears as Jack kissed him again. “We’ll have kids someday, I promise. Just, not right now. I need to get myself together, and we’re still young, so let’s live a little.”

 

“I just wanna be a mommy..” Alex mumbled weakly, a quiet sigh escaping through his lips.

 

“And I wanna be a daddy. But you know it won’t work out if we can barely take care of ourselves now. I need to learn how to not smack you around first. It’ll happen.” 

  
Alex just nodded again, relaxing his body as best as he could and deciding to let himself sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for Erin because I like messing with her and for my mom Maddy for being awesome in general

After a few weeks, the little get togethers between the two couples became a regular thing, and Alex considered Josh and Tyler to be two of his best friends. He had also tried to be friends with Kara from down the street, but Jack didn’t like her, so Alex gave up that relationship.

 

It was another Friday night, (That’s when they started having their ‘parties’, everyone was off on Friday night and it was just easier that way.) and Alex was in the kitchen, washing dishes with Josh. He was mostly listening to Jack and Tyler’s voices drifting from the living room, but shifted his attention when Josh spoke to him. “So, how have you been doing, Lex?” 

 

Alex gave his generic response of shrugging, focusing his gaze on the plate he was washing. “I’m okay.” 

 

“Come on, Alex, you have to give me more than that.” Josh reached over, gently taking the overwashed plate out of the boy’s hand. “Tell me how you’ve  _ really _ been doing. I kept asking out there but you always looked at Jack before you said anything.  _ If  _ you said anything.”

 

Alex shrugged again, picking up a cup and beginning to wash that. “I’m actually fine, I swear.” 

 

Josh raised an eyebrow at this, setting the plate he just dried in the pile on the counter. “You just said that you were ‘okay’, not ‘fine’. What’s going on, Lex?” He frowned even more when Alex sniffed, and he saw a tear drop from Alex’s face to the water in the sink. “Alex, are you sick? Are you dying? What’s up?” He didn’t wait for the boy to respond, engulfing him in a hug and rubbing his back in a comforting matter as he sobbed into Josh’s chest. “You can tell me anything, you know?” 

 

Alex nodded, sniffling before he mumbled something. Josh made a questioning noise in the back of his throat, furrowing his eyebrows slightly. “I’m sorry, say again?”

 

“Jack doesn’t want kids..” Alex mumbled again, and he felt Josh’s chest begin to shake. Was he fucking  _ laughing  _ at Alex? He pulled his face away, glaring up at Josh until he saw that he was crying as well. “U-uhm.. why are  _ you  _ crying?”

 

“I’m a horrible person, Alex. I’m so bad, so bad. This is horrible.” 

 

“What’re you talking about?” Alex questioned, eyebrow raising slightly. “It’s not your fault Jack doesn’t want kids.”

 

“No, it’s just, you want kids, and I’m having one with Tyler. I don’t want it.” Alex must’ve gasped, because he saw Josh’s eyes widen, and the man shook his head fervently. “That’s not what I meant to say. I want it-” “Her.” Josh nodded, sighing. “Right, her. I want her, I just, I don’t know if I’m gonna be a good parent. I’m scared.”

 

Alex squeezed Josh, cooing quietly. “You’ll be a great dad, I promise you. Tyler is so,  _ so  _ lucky to have you. And so is that baby.” And with that, Alex leaned up and kissed Josh.

 

***********************************************************

 

Meanwhile, Jack was resting comfortably on the couch and chatting with Tyler. “So how is that baby treating you?” He laughed, watching as Tyler rubbed his stomach.  “She’s been great, actually. I haven’t been sick for a while now, although she likes to push on my bladder a  _ lot. _ ”

 

“Yeah, kids’ll do that to you. Alex wants some, but I-” Jack sighed, running his hand through his hair. “It’s not like I  _ don’t  _ want them, you know? We’re just not ready. We have issues, Tyler, and I don’t want to be selfish and drag another human into them.” Jack explained, making Tyler nod and hum quietly.

 

“I can understand that, Josh and I had some things to sort out too, but I don’t think they were as heavy as some of the things you’re hinting at.”

 

Jack sighed, nodding. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, Tyler analyzing Jack as he sat slumped on the couch. He waited a few minutes longer before deciding to speak up. “Hey, Jack?” He called, making the man snap his head up and look at him. “Hm?”

 

“Do you hit Alex?” 

 

Jack was taken over by a shocked silence, and he gaped at the pregnant man across from him. “W-what?” 

 

“I said, do you hit Alex? And don’t you dare lie to me.”

 

Jack swallowed harshly, nodding as he hung his head. “It hasn’t happened for a long time now. I’ve been trying to get myself under control.”

 

“ _ Jack. _ ” Tyler chastised him quietly, shaking his head. “Alex doesn’t deserve that. And you don’t deserve to have to live with that guilt.” 

 

“I know, Ty. I’m trying, okay? It’s been a few weeks since the last incident, so give me some credit.” 

 

Tyler nodded again, and was about to say something before he was interrupted by a crash from the kitchen, and Josh appeared, standing in front of Tyler. “We’re going now.” The brown haired man said hurriedly, pulling his husband to his feet before quickly ushering him out of the door.

 

“Bye, Jack! See you next week!” Tyler called before the door closed behind them.

  
Jack slowly stood up from the couch, taking a deep breath as he ventured towards the kitchen to see what kind of mess Alex had made this time.


	9. Chapter 9

“So what happened at Jack’s house?” Tyler asked his husband that night as they were getting ready for bed. 

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Ty. I was just ready to leave.” Josh replied from the bathroom, drying off his hair before coming and sitting next to Tyler on the bed. He sighed when Tyler raised an eyebrow at him. “It’s nothing, I swear.”

 

“Josh, come on. Just tell me.” 

 

Josh huffed quietly. He didn’t say anything for a few moments, laying down so that his head was resting on Tyler’s stomach. “Your tummy is so adorable.” He sighed, rubbing his hand over it in circles. “Josh.” Tyler carded his fingers through the man’s hair. “Just tell me.”

 

“Alex kissed me.” Josh reported quietly, pressing a kiss to Tyler’s skin. “Don’t get mad at him, he’s just going through a tough time right now and I was there, and it was just an overload of emotion for him..” “It doesn’t matter. I’m going to go have a talk with him tomorrow.”

 

“Tyler, please.” 

 

“You’re not going to change me my mind. Goodnight, Josh.” Tyler kissed the top of his head before rolling onto his side and going to sleep.

 

*******************************************************************

Jack got up from the sofa and went into the kitchen.  Alex was on the floor cleaning up a glass, and Jack could hear him crying quietly.

 

“Babe, why don’t you let me clean that up and you go take a nice bath or something?” 

 

Jack inwardly sighed when Alex’s body stiffened at the sound of his voice, and he couldn’t help but slump a little bit at Alex’s reply.

 

“No. It’s fine, I don’t need help. Why don’t you go watch tv or something before you get mad about it.”

 

“Alex, I’m not going to get mad. Listen-” Jack crouched down next to Alex, gently taking the hand broom and tiny dustpan out of his hand. “I want you to go take care of yourself, and then you and I are going to talk, okay?”

 

Alex shook his head, although he stood up. “I don’t want to-” “No. We’re gonna talk. That’s it. Just talking. Now go.” Alex sighed and went upstairs to take a much needed shower, leaving Jack to clean up the mess. 

 

Jack took this time to reflect on everything. They hadn’t moved out here for this. They moved out here to escape the mess Alex had made. But instead they had made friends, and Jack was changing. He didn’t want to be a cold, callous killer anymore. He wanted to be a lover, not a fighter. He wanted to be Alex’s rock, he wanted to be a dad to the children that they could have. But the thing was, they had tried all this before. Alex didn’t remember, but Jack did.

 

Jack didn’t want to put Alex through that again. He didn’t want them to try and try for children, and Alex be disappointed time and time again. But if that’s what his beau needed to be happy, that’s what Jack would do. And he wouldn’t say a word about it.

 

When Alex came down from his shower, Jack was sitting on the couch, watching his hands. Alex went and sat next to him silently,  although the man looked up when he felt the couch dip. “Hey, babe. How was your shower?” He asked quietly, and to Alex it seemed like the actually cared.

 

“It was fine.” Alex kept his response simple, so that he couldn’t give Jack time to get agitated. 

 

Jack sighed at this, and opened his arms. “Alex. Lex. Lexy. C’mere.” He smiled softly when Alex actually leaned onto him, although not fully. But it was a start.  He closed his arms around the boy, holding him close as he began to speak. “You know I love you, right?” 

 

Jack paused for a minute to kiss Alex’s temple when the boy nodded. “Okay, and I remember what you told me the other day. About how you want kids? And I- I decided that I want some too. Because I love you, and I don’t think there’s anyone else I’d rather call mine. But, there’s at least one thing I want us to do first.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“I want you to marry me, Lexy baby. I never proposed to you the right way, so I’m doing it now. Except, I forgot your ring is upstairs, so we’ll do that later.” 

 

They were both quiet after that, until Jack felt Alex’s body shaking. “Are you crying? Don’t cry, babe, I love you.” He gently sat Alex up, cupping his face as he watched him. “Alex, please.”

 

“I k-know, I love you too. That’s why I’m c-crying. I’m  _ happy. _ ” Basically all of Alex’s dreams had just been realized in Jack’s little speech. He was happy now. Things were gonna be okay,  _ they  _ were gonna be okay. Alex wouldn’t have to covet what Josh and Tyler had now, because he and Jack would have that too.

 

“I think we should go sleep now, yeah? Today’s been a bit rough.” Jack’s voice interrupted, and Alex found himself nodding, and soon enough he was snuggled in Jack’s arms as they laid in bed.  “This is the first step.” Jack murmured to him, kissing behind his ear. “We’re working our way up to kids. I love you.”

 

“I love you too.” Alex said it back, before closing his eyes and drifting into a peaceful slumber.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! I enjoy comments and feedback, like what you think should happen in the story, and stuff like that. I already have a definite plot set up, but I may be able to work some ideas in here or there. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading this, and thanks for the support!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna suck oh boy

Tyler waited until he was sure that both Josh and Jack had left for work before he confronted Alex the next morning.

 

He was going to go over there right away, but he figured that he’d need an excuse to get Alex to let him into his house. Sure they were friends, but it was still way too early for Tyler to be visiting, no matter how close they were. So he decided to make some cupcakes, because what better way to say ‘Hey, I know you kissed my husband. Don’t fucking do it again or I’ll break your neck, okay?’ than with some cupcakes.

 

So that took an hour, and then Tyler actually had to get dressed to go outside. He settled on a black turtleneck and some skinny jeans that were becoming more and more skinny by the day. He looked like he meant business, and he was sure that Alex would take him  _ very  _ seriously.

 

He went back into the kitchen after that, and grabbed his cupcakes before heading a short distance down the sidewalk, where his target was. 

 

Tyler didn’t see Alex as a  _ target,  _ per se, he just needed to have a nice, adult conversation with the boy. If he could put aside his boiling anger for a moment.

 

Tyler walked up the path to the front door, knocking three times. Quick, sharp, and straight to the point. Just like this visit would be.

 

Tyler wasn’t surprised when Alex opened the door quickly, and he gave the boy one of his signature smiles. “Hi, Alex. How are you today?”

 

Alex smiled back, leaning against the doorframe. “I’m okay. Uhm.. are those for me?”  He pointed to the cupcake holder in Tyler’s hand.

 

“Only if you let me in.” Tyler grinned at Alex’s dismayed expression as he stepped aside, allowing the pregnant man to enter his home.

 

“I’m so sorry, I completely forgot-” “It’s fine, Alex, although there is something that I have to talk to you about.” Tyler said pleasantly as he meandered through the abode and made his way to the kitchen. “I assure you, it’s  _ very  _ important, or else I wouldn’t even be here this early. My baby and I need sleep, you know?” He teased.

 

“I-I, uhm, of course.” Alex stuttered in response, following him. It would almost seem as if this was Tyler’s house, with the way he was leading Alex around. He even took a seat at the kitchen table, setting the cupcakes down and taking the lid off before basically commanding Alex to sit as well. 

 

“So what did you want to talk about?” Alex asked as he hesitantly grabbed a cupcake with chocolate frosting.

 

“Well, it concerns your relations with my husband.” Tyler decided that he would use big boy language, so that there was no room for Alex to interpret anything, and they wouldn’t have to do this again. He couldn’t help but revel in the subtle way that Alex had tensed, and the words that came out of the boy’s mouth next just fueled his confidence.

 

“W-what about them?”

 

“I’m very much aware of the fact that you kissed Josh, Alex. And I’m sure that you’re  _ very  _ aware of how upset I am.” “I-” “Just eat, Alex. Let me do the talking. But make sure that you listen well.”

 

Tyler smiled as Alex took a bite of his cupcake, and waited for the boy to begin chewing slowly before he began to speak again.

 

“I’ve picked up on how attracted you are to my husband, but let me say this. First of all, what do you think is going to happen between you two, even  _ if  _ he returned your love? He married me, and we’re about to start a  _ beautiful  _ family.”

 

He paused to let this sink in.

 

“And also, how would things turn out with you? Imagine for one moment, if you somehow ended up pregnant by my husband. You’d be the bad guy there. The happy couple, broken up by the slut who moved in a few houses down.Of course we wouldn’t be broken up, but you get my point. To take it a step further, what would  _ Jack  _ do? My, he’d probably end up killing you. Because you and I both know he’s never had a problem hurting you before.”

 

And yeah, Tyler felt bad when Alex started crying, but damn it, he was  _ angry. _ Who did he think he was? To come in here and try to ruin everything because he had a little schoolgirl crush on  _ Tyler’s  _ husband. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought up Jack’s past abuse of Alex, but hey. All’s fair in love and war, right?

 

Tyler stood up, brushing off his sweater. “Basically, I came to tell you that if you try to take Josh away from me again, I’ll kill you. Have a good day, Alex.” He patted the boy’s shaking shoulder once as he walked past him, before exiting the house and heading back to his own.

 

Tyler thought that the visit went well. He managed to get his point across without strangling Alex, which was a win. And he was pretty sure that something like this wouldn’t happen again. At least, not while he was alive and kicking. But he and Josh would probably be old and die together on the same day because they were cute like that, so even then Alex wouldn’t matter.

 

All in all, Tyler felt that today was going to be a great day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry Tyler was so mean smh


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot how far along Tyler was so we'll just roll with this. Also, Jack talks in italics now because I do what I want

A month after the whole incident with Tyler, Alex sincerely wished that he could say things were going well. He just wanted things to go right in his life for once, so badly, but once again the universe decided to be a bitch and make his life hell.

 

Tyler had gone into delivery last week, and had  _ twins.  _ Alex wasn’t even sure how they didn’t detect there were two bundles of joy in there, but it had happened. But of course Tyler would get lucky enough to have  _ Josh’s  _ twins while Alex wasn’t even married yet. (And it’s not like he hated Tyler, okay? He just didn’t appreciate the whole cupcake fiasco. That was too much, and it’s not like they were on reality television. Chill the fuck out, Tyler.)

 

And on top of that, Josh had been distant with Alex, mostly because he was busy with his daughters, Aria and Melody. But  Alex suspected that it was also because he had told Tyler what had happened, and he didn’t want it to be awkward between them.

 

Jack was just fucking absent during all of this, deciding to just make his office his home. The boy would’ve previously acknowledged that yes, Jack  _ was  _ trying harder to be loving and supportive, but not anymore. Now that Alex actually needed the man, he was in a business building.

 

So excuse Alex for being a little depressed.

 

Okay, so a  _ little  _ might not be the word for it.

 

The boy had basically been holed up in his room for the last two weeks, not even coming out to eat. And nobody really knew, because he never had any visitors. Jack had stayed far away from the bedroom, so he wouldn’t care. The bottle of sleeping pills on his dresser was very quickly seeming to be his only option to escape his ever darkening mood.  He knew that Jack would be back soon. But, were things even guaranteed to get better when they came back?

 

Would he magically be married?

 

Would he have his loving kids running around?

 

Alex was just in a hurry to get these things done. That may not have been the right way to go about it, but could you blame him? He just wanted to catch up, and every time he seemed to take a step forward, he’d end up drowning in some sort of shit all over again.

 

And as Alex laid in bed in the dark, he had a lot of time to think. He had come to the conclusion that he had Jack to blame for everything that had gone wrong.

 

If Jack would’ve just left him alone, let him be a happy high school sophomore and go on to be an adult, he wouldn’t even be entertaining these thoughts right now.

 

Which is what led him sobbing on the phone to the same person that he was supposed to be hating right now.

 

_ “Alex, what’s wrong?”  _ Jack had asked as soon as he answered the call, detecting the boy’s distress. It honestly broke his heart to hear Alex sounding this way, and although he may not have shown it in the past, the brunette was honestly the love of his life.

 

“I-I think I hate you.” 

 

Was it possible for your heart to shatter into a million pieces? Was that what was happening right now? Was Jack actually having a heart attack?

 

_ “Say again? You think you hate me?”  _ This wasn’t happening right now, Jack wouldn’t accept this. They were just on the cusp of something great, they were so close to being  _ happy _ , what the fuck had happened? Jack didn’t even realize he had started walking until he found himself in a cab.  _ “Think about what you’re saying. I don’t know what’s happening right now, but I’m coming home.” _

 

“No! Don’t! I don’t need you anymore. All you do is make me sad. It’s your fault I want to die.” Jack was honestly baffled. He could admit that he used to revel in making Alex cry, but he’d buried that dark part of himself. He realized now that he was probably stupid for even leaving as he listened to his significant other babbling tearfully into the phone. He just figured Alex would want some space, and he thought he was doing the right thing. Apparently not. 

 

_ “Just, hold on for a minute. Whatever you’re thinking about doing to yourself, let me tell you it’s not worth it. Don’t do that.”  _ Jack basically jumped out of the cab, quickly deciding to walk the short distance down the sidewalk to their home.  _ “I swear to God if you hurt yourself I’m going to beat the shit out of you.” _

 

“Yes, because you’re so good at doing that, aren’t you?”

 

Jack’s blood ran cold. It was in the  _ past,  _ he didn’t mean it. He didn’t do it anymore. He never wanted to, ever again. He just wanted his boy to be happy. He wanted to be happy. So why was it so goddamn hard to attain something so simple?  _ “I’m sorry. I’m home.”  _ The older replied quietly as he walked through the front door.  _ “Where are you?”  _ “Bedroom.”

 

Jack took the stairs two at a time, leaving his phone forgotten on the floor as he went and sat by Alex when he reached the bedroom. Alex just watched him, remaining quiet when Jack crushed him in a hug.  _ “You fucking scared me, Alex.”  _

 

“You fucking scarred  _ me,  _ Jack.” Alex replied, letting out a short, humorless laugh. “It’s honestly funny, all of this is, my life is complete  _ shit. _ ” 

 

_ “What’re you talking about?”  _ Alex could barely hear Jack’s voice over the blood rushing in his ears. “It’s not fair. He gets to have those perfect, beautiful children, and I get nothing. Fresh out of luck. What did he do to deserve them? What do I need to do? If I can’t achieve anything I want I might as well be dead.”

 

_ “Don’t be ridiculous. We’re just not ready. It’ll be okay, alright? Just calm down.”  _  Alex heard him, but he refused to accept that logic. Maybe it was Jack’s fault. Maybe he was sterile. Maybe that’s why he wasn’t ready. “It’s okay if you can’t get it up, you know? We’ll do IVF, it’ll be okay.” 

 

Jack sighed, running a hand through Alex’s hair.  _ “Alex, listen.”  _ “Or, we’ll get a surrogate. No, I want to carry my children.”  _ “Alex.”  _ “Or, we’ll just adopt if it comes to that, it’s always an op-”

 

_ “Alex!”  _ Jack shouted, but he quickly reined in his voice before continuing.  _ “We’ve done this before. It didn’t work out. So we’re taking a break. Give your body some time. I don’t want you to be disappointed.” _

 

“I don’t care! Let me disappointed! At least we can say we tried!”   
  


Jack knew that Alex was most likely exhausted from dealing with all this, he knew that he probably shouldn’t give in so easily, but Jack was so tired. He was tired of having this argument almost every day, so tired of Alex being unhappy. If Alex wanted to try, they’d try. Just as long as they’d stop all this constant arguing. 

 

_ “You know what? Fine. We’ll try. If this doesn’t work out, don’t be upset. I tried to tell you. I don’t want you to be so unreasonable anymore, so we’ll try. But if you don’t want to try anymore, tell me and we’ll stop, okay?” _

 

Jack waited for Alex to nod before he got up and dimmed the lights.

  
Thus began baby attempt number one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy what a crock of drama *nervous laughter* I at least hope you guys liked it! Thank Brendon Urie for inspiring me to finally write something again.


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